Lets face it we all want a loving connected relationship that meets our needs and enriches our lives.
Healthy relationships are built on love, respect, honesty, trust, support, communication as well as a good dose of playfulness (hopefully).
Research shows that a happy, healthy intimate relationship helps us to feel fulfilled and improves our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. It also assists us to cope better with some of the more challenging issues that we all face at one time or another in our life time.
Unfortunately many of us may have experienced poor modelling of healthy relationships in our family of origin or there may have been family dysfunction which ultimately impacts the way we select, form and maintain relationships as we move through adulthood.
We can see a relationship is dysfunctional because it is generally characterised by one partner doing most of the relationship ‘work’.
Some common issues in unhealthy relationships include:
- One partner needs lots of attention
- Feeling your partners emotions as if they were your own
- Not taking care of your own needs
- Jealousy and wanting to spend all of your time with your partner
- A feeling of abandonment when you are not with your partner
- Using a great deal of energy to solve the problems of your partner
- A low level of self-acceptance
- Pleasing others and not taking care of yourself
- Poor or no boundaries
- A sense of dependency
- Difficulties with communication
- Unable to resolve conflict
- Having recurring issues that are never really resolved
It is important to take an honest look at your own behaviour and see what may be causing problems within the relationship and you may need to go back and identify issues from your childhood and start to address them.
Making changes to the way you ‘do’ your relationship can help to make it more healthy. The most important first step is learning to really take god care of yourself.
Self-care for so many of us can feel like a completely alien idea. But learning to take care of your own needs for comfort, support, as well as those practical things like eating a healthy diet and exercising absolutely set us up to have much healthier relationship with all of the people we care about as we move forward.
Self-care may feel like a completely alien idea to you but learning to take care of your needs for comfort, support, healthy foods and exercise as well as setting boundaries with others will enable you to give in healthier ways as you move forward.
Learning set boundaries and to say no to your partner or family and friends is also very important but can feel uncomfortable – remember that you do not need to do for others what they are perfectly capable of doing for themselves. If you often say yes to others when you need to say no then you can be left feeling overwhelmed, resentful and angry which can lead to relationship conflict.
If you feel you would like to address unhealthy habits within your intimate relationship here are few options available to you:
- Learn to set boundaries – this teaches people how to treat you
- Try to be assertive in your communication – so that people don’t need to guess what you are thinking and feeling
- Take care of yourself – allow time to rest, relax and rejuvenate
Relationships aren’t always easy but they are definitely worth the work. It is possible to turn things around if both people are committed.
If you would like more assistance with communication please check out my downloadable short courses here >> https://debbicarberry.com.au/product/short-course-communication/
If you would like assistance with setting boundaries please check out my downloadable short courses here >> https://debbicarberry.com.au/product/short-course-relationships-boundaries/
Please do stay in touch on FaceBook where I do FB Lives to answer your questions and share the latest information on my upcoming workshops.
You can also head over to my website to find out about my Global Relationship Membership Rewrite Your Relationship Story
Until next time …
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