Intimacy – In To Me See
I am just wondering which one you are? The person who is groaning saying oh no not intimacy or the other one who is like yeah intimacy great!!
This is what I see in my clinic. Some people are really keen to learn, talk about and enjoy intimacy and others who think they do not have the time, energy or inclination for intimacy at all.
For intimacy to happen we need to engage one organ in our bodies – and I’m talking about your mouth!! I’m talking about communication.
Intimacy begins with communication. We connect emotionally when we talk about our day and we tell our partners what we want and need. Then we are connected and engaged with each other.
So intimacy begins long before we get hot and steamy.
When I talk to people in my clinic I say intimacy is – In – To – Me – See
That is what it means. It means I am giving myself really vulnerably to you in my entirety – you get to be about as close as any human being can be to me.
And so in that space we need a sense of safety. We need to know that our partner loves and cares for us. That they respect us and that we are treated in a way that is important to us. It is a safe space.
Intimacy starts long before we are actually being intimate.
It’s about doing the dishes; it’s about helping with the kids and freeing up time. We women can get stuck in having a thousand things that we need to do and then switching that off to get close and connected to our partners can be really hard.
If we just sit looking at a list and think – it’s on the list, I just have got to do it – but I just need him to help me out.
So if you wanting to get your partner to understand how to get his intimacy needs met and you want to get yours met. Have a conversation with each other. Talk to each other about what’s going on.
Invite each other in. Tell each other stuff – be curious with each other about what’s important to you.
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