Trying to create a peaceful home can feel like an impossible task some days. I don’t know about you but I’ve got a busy, loud sometimes chaotic home, with my partner and four kids aged from 19 to 12. I like to think that it is our safe haven where we can seek solace and support from each other and find strength to manage whatever the world throws at us.
It is a place where so many memories have been created, some great, some good and some distressing but it is still the place we all come to where we feel sure we are heard and understood.
Our family home can also feel like an impossible place to find peace due to the competing needs of our kids, practical activities like cooking and homework and after school activities. Then there is the family relationships and dreaded sibling rivalry or jealously amongst the kids as well as trying to manage adult relationships with your partner.
Trying to stay connected whilst juggling parental responsibilities, work life, family and friends and dealing with maintenance issues like peeling paintwork, toilets not flushing and the deck that feels like it has to be oiled every six months!!!
So how do you make this sacred space that is home feel peaceful amongst the daily chaos?
Here are some ideas for you to try ….
- Make sure you eat meals together at least a couple of times a week, you can even make this a family ritual – we do Sunday Roast almost every week and it’s a time to connect and catch up with what everyone has been up to.
- Know your family values and label and share them with your kids, we often know that we have values but sharing them with one another is powerful.
- Humour is woven through my whole life and my family have the humour gene. We laugh frequently and this is a great way to manage some of the more stressful times.
- We all make mistakes and conflict is inevitable in a family, teach your kids to forgive and repair their relationships after a blow up. This is a great skill as they get older and move on to romantic relationships of their own.
- Plan activities together – even if it’s once a month – these events are going to be the memories that you will share tomorrow.
- Set some rules or boundaries for your family so that everyone knows what is acceptable and what is not.
- Have technology free times where everyone gets an opportunity to talk to one another.
- Teach your family about gratitude, this is a great gift to each of them
Ways to make the physical space more peaceful ….
- Mess and clutter can make your home feel chaotic, clearing clutter really does make a home feel much calmer and it can reduce the last minute panic of trying to find things when you have to get out of the house in a hurry. Declutter regularly, get a skip and have everyone throw things out that are broken or damaged.
- Give clothing and things that are still useful to a local charity store, they are always happy to receive unwanted but still useful goods.
- Have a few baskets on hand and ask everyone to help pick up anything that is sitting on top of benches (that shouldn’t be) or on the floor cluttering the main living space. This will tidy things quickly and everyone can take what is theirs and pop it away later (getting them to do it as soon as possible is a good idea – or you will have very full baskets!)
You can also appeal to your senses ….
- Put out some fresh flowers from time to time, they have been shown to decrease anxious and depressed feelings – and there is no excuse most supermarkets now sell them at a very reasonable price – you could always pick them from your garden too
- Light up some scented candles or some aromatherapy oils these can really change the mood in a room, there is a huge variety to choose from and research shows that these scents can bring stress relief benefits.
- Hang a wind chime outside of a window the sound of these can be delightful.
- Play some calm soothing music in the background – research shows that it really does shift mood and helps us to relax.
- Dim the lights which creates a sense of warmth and intimacy.
Try some of these tips to help create a connected peaceful home that is a safe haven from the outside world for you and your family.
Until next time ..